God is Good!

Today was such a great day that I packed up the boys and went to the pool. What started the day so good is the news that Andy will probably be able to keep his job AND work from home! Of course the day couldn't stay fabulous forever, especially with 4 boys lol! Caleb decided to pee his pants in line to get in, so home we went again.

The other boys and I went back and had a great day. Of course they ran in to all of their friends so I ended up losing one and gaining another, lol. Ash stayed the night with a friend and Zach brought one home.

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Memorial Day

We had a cookout at our house with our parents. It was such a beautiful day and I was craving cookout food~ baked beans and mac n cheese! I took the opportunity to get some pictures of grandparents and grandkids. 

The boys got the bright idea to make a doghouse for the dogs. We didn't exactly have wood that matched the task at hand but they made it work, LOL!

God will never give you more than you can handle

I know this to be true, but in times like these it is hard to see that truth. Yesterday we were given the hard news that if we moved to Ca we could not take the boys with us. Well of course that means we will not be moving, we would never leave our children! As much as I was angry and confused by this verdict, Andy and I have come to the conclusion that God has better plans for us here. I told myself all along that if God did not want us to go, He would prevent us from doing so. I guess this was His way.

It of course would have been easier to know sooner on instead of putting all of our eggs in one basket. The next couple of months are going to be very hard and major prayer is needed. I have applied for teaching positions in the fall at Heights, Andy is hoping that he can work remotely for Pelco, and I am going to try babysitting through the summer and getting a night job at a restaurant if needed. 

The boys were a little upset, expecially Zach and Caleb. Collin and Ashton are mostly worried about Andy's job. Although we do not have any answers for them, I know God is in control and I trust His promises for us. I know He will take care of us and new doors will open. Actually a part of me is very glad we aren't moving. I have formed some very good friendships here and did not look forward to leaving them. Also I am very attached to my church and cried every Sunday because I knew we had to leave. I have never been involved in a church like ACC and I really felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do working with teen girls there. Now that I am not moving I can hopefully get back in touch with the group of girls I had and keep in touch with them.

Well all, prayers are appreciated. I will keep you posted.

Goodnight

Chicago Baby!

I was very excited to take a trip to see my Bestie Virginia. Sometimes you just need a break!!! The boys were with Michelle for the weekend and so Zach and I packed up and were on the road. It was so great!

We got in Friday evening so we rented movies. The kiddos refused to go to sleep, lol, but we shoved them in the room at 11pm. It was just nice to have some girl time.

Saturday we hit the parks in Chicago. Its beautiful there. There are so many parks to see. We went to the FREE zoo and had a picnic on the grassy hill. Later that night we went to YUMMY Giordanos! Luckily we had worn the kiddos completely out and they zonked at 10pm.

Sunday we got up early and headed to Northerly Island (is it really an island or are my eyes playing trips on me?) to visit Shedd Aquarium. It was awesome! The kids had a blast. I couldn't believe how well behaved the kids were, they were mesmerized by all the stuff to see and do. Then me and Virginia had some girl time and hit Miracle Mile. I of course had no moola to spend but atleast wanted to see it. Dinner was at Mighty Nice Grill, actually it WAS mighty nice ;)

Monday morning we headed home. I already miss my Ginia!!

Indy 500

Today we got to take the boys to the Indy 500 for qualifying. When I took Zach to his dr appt at Riley, we were given 6 tickets, garage passes, and parking permit FOR FREE! Someone donated the stuff and we were the lucky ones. I am always for free family fun days, it’s so expensive for a family of 6 to go anywhere.

The highlight of the day was meeting Sara Fisher. Sadly I was the only one that was able to, apparently you have to be 18 to get back to the garages. Seems odd that garage passes were donated to a ‘children’s’ hospital, if children cannot use them. Either way the boys had fun getting the autograph and watching the cars.

Update from Mothers Day

Just a side note from yesterday. I love, I mean LOVE being a mom to my wonderful 4 boys and there is not a thing I would do to change my life right now. It's just hard because deep down, I want to the ONLY mom, but that's just not reality. That is what God had planned and I am content to follow his will.


-- Post From My iPhone

Happy Mothers Day

Well today was Mother's Day. Hmm, what is a mom really. That been something that has been swirling in my mind for a while now. I was blessed to have the best mom. My mom loves me and supports me and I don't know what I'd do without her. If I drew the characteristics of what a mom is from her it'd be caring, loving, supportive, honest, nurturing, human, and godly. But there are so many other types of moms out there. There are woman that add characteristics such as abandoning, hurtful, abusive, ungodly, and manipulative. So where do we base our definition of 'mom' from? Do we base it on what a mom should be or is it based on whatever characterisics a person exhibits that births a child?

I've had this thought thrown at me and tossed around in my head so much these past couple of years. My moms adopted, is my grandma any less a 'mom' bc she didn't birth my mom? Is her birth mom any more of a mom because she did the birthing but not the rearing? Am I any less Collin, Ashton, or Caleb's mom because I didn't birth them? Any more of a mom to Zach because I did? Are you a mom because what you do not who you are?

Why do I struggle so much with this? I don't know. I don't know why I let these thoughts fill my head and eat at it. Why should I care? I love ALL the boys. I am the one that cares for them day in and day out. Why can't I shake the fact that she birthed them as if she has one up on me? Am I scared deep down that no matter what I do, they'll always love her more? That at the end of the day, when it's all said and done, that they'll want her and not me because she's their 'real' mom?

I guess I am.....deep down.....afraid.

But what should it matter really? Am I impacting their lives any less? No. Was I any less chosen by God to be a part of these children's lives? No! Am I doing this for God or for the title of 'mom'? Maybe I need to re check myself. Hard to do sometimes.

I've wanted to be a mom for the longest time. I remember 'fake' babysitting for my moms friends little baby. I LOVED babies. When I got older, the desire continued. I could see myself as a wife and a mom. Staying home and taking care of my kids, I wanted 3, while my husband worked. Having dinner ready for the nubby and teaching my toddlers. Being involved at school when they were older and making snacks for them when they got home. Being there for their boo boos and hurts in life. Getting them ready for the world. One thing I didn't imagine was how hard it really was....to mother.

The hurt, the emotions, the guilt and regrets. Throw in being a step-mom that is also the full-time mom, and the merry go round of feelings is magnified. You know the old saying, if you look like a duck and act like a duck, then you must be a duck. Well, I look like a mom, I act like a mom, but I'm NOT their 'real' mom. It's hard.

Happy Mothers Day


-- Post From My iPhone

Update

Well I am home now. Yesterday I was in an extreme amount of pain, sorry didn't update you sooner. Feeling better today, but then again I am taking my pain pills every 4 hrs regardless. I don't want to feel like I did yesterday at all! Well back off to sleep.




-- Post From My iPhone

Surgery day

Well I am sitting in my recliner. Got my iv and loopy meds. Not so nervous now. Wish me luck. Really not looking forward to the after surgery!


-- Post From My iPhone

Not ME! Monday

This past week I most definitely didn't spend a whole day reading instead of cleaning or taking care of my boys while hubby was away and not here to see the mess.

And I most certainly didn't forget about my son's speech class and not get him there in time. What kind of mother forget such and important thing?

And this weekend I totally didn't pawn off all 4 boys for some peace and quiet to myself. I love my boys and their noise and arguing, why on Earth would I want quiet when I can have so much noise that I can't hear my own thoughts?

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Zoo part 2

The boys had a great time at the zoo. The bus ride was extemelu loud but I listened to my iPhone to drown it out.

The trip flew by very fast, we arrived at the zoo around 10:30am but had to meet for lunch at 12:30pm. We left rich after. The purpose of the trip was to see the animals that the students had researched. It was actually a great idea. For the young authors project, the 2nd
grade studnents researched an animal through the Internet and library books. They had to take notes on notecards and write 4 chapters, habit, appearance, diet, and interesting facts.

Back to the zoo, by the time we got inside, we had 30 min before the dolphin show so we went to oceans and touched the sharks and saw other ocean animals. Then we went through the desert exhibit.









Zach chose to research the eel. We actually were able to get some nice pictures!



There was an extemely comical walrus there too! He made some of the funnies faces.



The boys reluctantly posed for my pictures, thanks boys!



After the amazing dolphin show, we had 30 minutes to hit the rest of the zoo, particularly the plains where Collin's animal was, the lion. Of course the clouds that had looked as if they could pour at any moment, waited until the exact time that we were without shelter! We trudged along anyways. The lion's were not very cooperative though and did not come ip close for picures. We got to see the new baby elephant and baby bear though.





-- Post From My iPhone

I'm a glutten for punishment

I am on a bus full of jumping, screaming 2nd graders on our way to the zoo. I desperately need your prayers for sanity!! LOL!







-- Post From My iPhone